Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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