dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
