Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
