i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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