Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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