I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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