Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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