ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
