I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
