I love having hate sex.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
