Your face is a jimmy john
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
