ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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