Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
