Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You've changed since you got that strap on
did i just pee glitter
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize