Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
