i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
