the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Ladies don't puke and tell
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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