READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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