Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize