fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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