do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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