He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
