(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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