hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
