Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
