Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
