Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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