So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize