glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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