Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
