the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
