Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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