Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
