oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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