forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just google imaged poop.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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