I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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