Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
