from now on my penis is your penis
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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