did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
