so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
