I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize