i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
