did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
