So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
