I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
