I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
