You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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