So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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