He is such a slut. More and more my type.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
