Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
