You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
