if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
