Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
