Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
