Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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