Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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