he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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