If i come over, it means nothing
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
