OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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