i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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