I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
