im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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