I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
